Midnight

Midnight

Just past 12 o clock
only one thing
my mind can keep
my eyes start falling weak
all this shit the day brought
just another worthless battle fought

Untill I see your picture
and I start to drift
away into this dream
wishing I could let go
just fall away with you

All these things I wish I said
cuz the time is wasted
as the serenity slips away
I can't sleep, but I can't wake up
I'm lost in this
just wishing I knew what to say
to get you beside me

Now the hours just slip away
and I don't know whats happening
but I can't find the way
without you here
to set me right
to save me from myself
I'm just fading away

I blew it once
now I don't know
if I ever get you back
I'll never let go
just one last chance
to make it happen
and do it right

All these things I wish I said
cuz the time is wasted
as the serenity slips away
I can't sleep, but I can't wake up
I'm lost in this
just wishing I knew what to say
to get you beside me

Just past 12 o clock
only one thing
my mind can keep
my eyes start falling weak
I start to fall
whats the chance
will you be there?

Chapter VI

Chapter VI

Where to start
the dissapointment
or the anguish
Seems that I am
just another mind
full of false hope
no one hears a scream
so just let my lungs explode

Theres never an answer
just another question
a challenge to the soul
Without even trying
I'm into a world anew

So I'll turn the page
bleed out for you to all see
so you dont' feel so alone
lend a bitten hand
feeling lost and confused
I bleed out the next chapter

Let me see you fail
just to change the lines
from black to red
From the strong
to the weak
I see it all

Your lies and betrayalls
have set me free
Your love and hope
has given me life
So please
believe in failure

So I'll turn the page
bleed out for you to all see
so you dont' feel so alone
lend a bitten hand
feeling lost and confused
I bleed out the next chapter

So you see
what a failure life can be
the darkness that can pull you in
and the lonley sober nights
But don't look to me
for I am only the bleeding
I'm no god

Loose your hope
or die from the truth
faith in such an architect
fools all bow down
I blame him for all I don't know
except I'm not a child


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Waste

Waste

Did I ever tell you
You where my everything
And now your gone

Why didn’t I see what I had
How could I be so blind
How could I ruin it all just like that
What could I have said
You made up your mind and walked away

So now I’m alone
I don’t have anything
Cuz I lost everything
So lost in this pain

Now I see you so far away
Happy
Safe
Away from here
Not with this

You
Could read me like an open book
Knew what just to say
How to make the rain stop

But now I’m alone
It’s over now
I’ve got nothing
Cuz I’ve lost everything
So much lost in pain

Even with the hate
I still hung on
Hoping you could change your words
Wanting you to change your mind
Whats left I had to waste
And now it’s gone
Nothing is left
Cuz of my waste

Your never coming back
Lost everything

Woke Up To Nothing

Woke Up To Nothing

Open my tired eyes
to look onto nothing
nothing there
feeling cold

I woke up to nothing
feeling dead
hating all of this
Anger escapes my mouth
Scream for someone

Fallen hopes
of a broken dream
a wasted yesterday
Felt it slip away
jsut to breath
But I still wake up
wipe away the tears

I woke up to nothing
alone and tired
wishing that life
would just look up for me

Still I push on
looking for the happiness
The search it seems to be everlasting
But I can't quit
Cuz I'm alone
I can't take this
don't want to be this
So I will just....

Woke up to nothing
until I find her
and show her
I won't ever walk away
So she won't ever say

I woke up to nothing...

Too Long

Too Long

Your what I need to survive
every day apart
another piece of me dies

Again I need to decide
where do I go
what do I do
with what I feel inside

It's been far too long
each day seemed to just crawl
and now my heart cannot believe
what my eyes can see

Theres no worrys of a past to hide
I've heard the past
seen the changing tide
Today washed the world away
tho it's an old place
it's a new start
so forget the past
and find yourself

It's been far too long
each day seemed to just crawl
and now my heart cannot believe
what my eyes can see

Please stay the same
don't let the cold world change you
and it's good to have you home
its been far too long

Tear In

Tear In

Tear into me
teeth in the side of my neck
the taste of lust
as we scream through the night

I love that look on your face
the evil glare deep in your eyes
c'mon lets go, I've got the time

So just tear right in
strip me down
and go, go, go till it's gone
rip me up
tear me apart
until I'm raw

lights on
lights off
doesn't matter
cuz I
love that look on your face
and I live
for that evil glare in your eye

So tear right in
tear me up
but only
if I'm the only

tear me apart
tear me apart

Tattered To Tommorow

Tattered to Tommorow

You
just could be
a new chapter
To wake me up
So many questions abound
are you the future in love

Bit's and pieces
I leave behind
from the tearing rage
of yesterday's memories
Am I really moving forward
or just wasting my time

I stand alone
when the light dies
awakened in your eyes
life slows to a pace
and falls
away from my solitary state

Are you a new chapter
can you walk beyond the
storm's fury and find the heart
and make a world reborn
from it's dismay

I fall to my knees
and the world is gone
just a lifeless sphere
I hear only the rain
and footstep in the distance
a hope for a new day
a new day
only a wish

So can you see to my heart

T.N.D

T.N.D

I just wish you where here
and the mistakes I've made
all fall away
and for once in my life
I know I was truely wrong
to let you slip away

If only I knew what I know now
I would have made a difference choice
And the distance won't push me off
I'll walk just to see you

Feel like such a fool
My own hate for what I am
Wish I could fade
mistakes I've made
Can't help my own foolish ways
how could I be blind to see
But now you know what you mean to me

If only I knew what I know now
I would have done it different
And if it's what I hope
then miles won't stop me
Just to see your smile

As I clear the sky so I can can find my way
they clouds lie flat and grey
And the words I say
untainted they remain
as you are the light in my sky

So if you could hang on
I'll find a way

Pieces

Pieces

You have no idea
how much I love you
how much I really care
and I try my best not to hold it inside

Without you I'm falling apart
hoping this space will just fade
cuz your the only one
who never picked me apart

And you know that I'll listen all night
I don't care about the time
cuz this place is as close as I get
Of everthing I've said
nothing shows what you mean to me

Without you I'm falling apart
hoping this space will just fade
cuz your the only one
who never picked me apart
Never felt this way before
so please don't shut the door

Being so far away
is my only fear
hoping you don't choose to let go
and I'll never get to hear your voice
or see your face

Without you I'm falling to pieces
hoping this space will just fade
cuz you are the only one
that never picks me to pieces

Paradise

Paradise

How could you be
So fucking blind to see
What it was you had
Now if only you could
See what you’ve done

This damage I see
It’s not what paradise should be
You just made a mess
Smiled and walked away

You had paradise
Fucking tore it up
Threw it all away
Now I’ll take the time to see
See how I can clean the mess a child made

You turn from paradise for a trailer
But that’s fine
Cuz you got what you deserve
Ain’t karma a bitch

Damage I see
Not what paradise should be
You just made a mess
Smiled and walked away

Now I’ll put the pieces back

Pages

Pages

I never knew
All the pain you have been through
Showed me the bloody pages
I can't rewrite that
No more mess
Just a place for you to runaway to

A journal to confide in
My ears are your pages
But they won't ever fill
I'll listen to everyword

Everytime we talk or I just see
Just see your eyes
It wakes me up
Takes me to my safe place
Nothing like your laugh
or you bright smile

A journal to confide in
My ears are your pages
But they won't ever fill
I'll listen to everyword
Listen when you need
I'll be there anytime
The pieces of the puzzles
Well don't they fit

There was a time
I saw you without your face
It didn't change a thing
Your still the same to me
I won't change with the wind

A journal to confide in
My ears are your pages
But they won't carefull
I will hear every word
We always seem to end
with a smile

Outsider's Perspective

Outsider's Perspective

I am a mess
I am a joke
a closet without a lock
a frozen soul
lost within his own time
falling down again and again

Sometimes I feel like I am nothing
like the wind could blow me away
and nobody would notice
I guess it's all my fault
the failures that plauge me
over and over it seems
I'm loosing myself along the way

Never knowing what to say
knowing that I pushed you away
it must have been me
cuz I am just no one
look to the mirror and it fades to grey
What do I have to say
to get my life back from vein

Can you see from my outsiders perspective
just the same as mine
see the shame in this world
know the pain a life can bring
And all these times
that I let my guard down
I ended up alone
looking in at life

So you say you know pain
Well have you been here
have you seen this
did you cry
did you wanna die
did life loose it's meaning
Have you been down to the bottom of a bottle
looking down a barrel
pondering of what causes your life's peril

so
i am a mess
I am a joke
a closet with a broken lock
a frozen soul
that the wind could blow away

Nothing Remains

Nothing Remains


My heart like the world comes to a halt
Did you hear the pin drop?
What to do what to say
Not like it matters anyways
cuz your gone and never coming back
And I couldn't give a shit
untill I wake up
and see what it was
That makes me feel so alive
it's the pain I harbor inside
The remains from a burning fire
The ashes of yesterday
they remain

Couldn't get some space
running back over the same old place
it breaks me
and I choke it down
it breaks me down to nothing
theres nothing left here
just a fire burning
a fire burning
it's out of my hands
nothing I can do or say to save you

That makes me feel so alive
its all the pain I harbour inside
the blackened remains from all those times
I gave everything I had
just to watch you walk away

And I'll load up one more round
just trying to blow it away
This life has been so dark
and nobody knows what I've seen
and it remains inside of me

And now I'm on my knees
I've got the gun
the same feeling again
please god tell me why
where did I go wrong
Why do I bleed
whats the true story of everything

I felt so alive
thought the pain was gone
washed away the blacked remains
gave it away
and life walked away

so I squeeze my hand
slam my eyes shut
cry my last tear
say my last prayer
and I am gone......

- no title-

-no title-

I miss you
whenever your gone
the fun is gone
my smile doesn't show through
my love is gone

I hate the distance
no matter how short it may be
sit cold in apathy untill your here
watching the time slowly pass me by
untill I can see into your brown eyes

So much of this life all in pain
you wash it all away
so I can be the person you love today
opened me up
let me see love
this love for you

Wish we could just stop the time
lay here with you by my side
part your hair and kiss you
something I can't take for granted


I miss you
whenever your gone
the fun is gone
my smile doesn't show through
my love is gone
so much of this life all in pain
you wash it all away
so I can be the person you love today
opened me up
let me see love
this love for you

I'm amazed you can see through me
so many imperfections
but you don't even care
never make me change
your happy with who I am

Out Of My Chest

Out Of My Chest

Standing here
broken and lost
what the hell happened

Whatever I have to do
I'll stand-up and scream
to make you see
that I'm still here
I won't walk away
Whatever you need
I'm right here

I won't let you fall
catch you off the ground
I won't bear it to see you suffer
It's those beautiful eyes
that make my heart
jump
slam
tear out of my chest

Whatever I have to do
I'll wait out the storm
bring on
the rain
I will stand through
I'm no pussy
Won't back down

Refuse to let this slip away
I'll hold tight to the end
So much I can't hold back
Cuz I'm still so lost
But I don't care
fuck the map let's find home

So please
don't just let go
And we both know
that it felt so right
So whatever I have to do
stand up and scream
weather the storm
suffering in the rain
All just to see your eyes
So my heart can
jump
slam

out of my chest....

Hurt

Hurt

I just wish I could be noticed
So I could wash away this pain
I try so god damn hard
And all I ever get is friends
It makes me hurt inside
All this time I spend alone

Want to just walk away
Patience is a virtue but I’m running out
Feel like my destiny is to be alone
From the friends who I cannot trust
Who have broken my trust and love

Now I try to wake up
Try to feel the same
Thought maybe I found some happiness
But again it was thrown in my face
And tonight I bleed
Try to set it free

I’m so tired of this world
I work so hard, all in vein
Just to be happy for one day
But I can’t see through this veil I make
And I cover my eyes
To keep the pain away

Could I just find someone
Could just find my way
Can’t I just bleed
Where are the answers?
And why can’t I find a way to just smile and walk on

Flash Of White

Flash Of White

I don’t see you there
Your words are not clear
What do I need to feel
What do I need to say

Where are the things I knew
What happened to the inside
Are you to blame
As my sky turns to red again
I feel my self fall
I cannot see
Flash of white

Those passive lines
What do you mean
Take a breath
Let me hear this
Let me see the sky
So what do you mean
Where does this road lead

Where are the things I knew
What happened to the inside
Are you to blame
As my sky turns to red again
I feel my self fall
I cannot see
Flash of white

Fucking ovens of my mind
Never letting go
I try to think of the situation
But I have to let it go
So I need you to say
Whatever is free


These aren’t the words from yesterday
This isn’t the same smile
It’s not the same you
So what does it all mean
I hope it’s not some bullshit
Bullshit game to play
Because I cannot sit still
Because I cannot see
It’s all faded to red
Now it flashes to white
I cannot stand
Falling down

Dream

Dream

The soul has lost
left with nothing
your lost presence
brings sadness each day

The many hours lost
scouring myself for an aswer
To the questions I'm left with
of your departure

I'll pick up the pieces
of our shattered collaboration
Give them to you
But the dream never dies

Life continues on
I'm breaking
breathing
pushing each day
still each new burden
never fading
I leave them to you
as light fades
the world sleeps
But the dream dies

So much of this life wasted
on your sick course
your departed questions
I'll never answer
And sweep away the pieces
I hand you
with the dreams end

But still you sleep
lossing the world
In such a worthless pace
So again turn and walk away

Dranyam

Dranyam

Why are you such a fucker
you've lead these lives to an edge
now throw them off
Shunning nature to you equals
makes me rethink
makes me wish you might have never been here

See you on your high horse
selfish smile
Whats your truth
whats the puzzle
what do your words mean
And what do you stand for

What of the life you
life you inspire
life that feeds you
so your bread....
bread for your lies
bread for your mistake lines
bread for your arrogance

Breakdown the words
fall into your place
displacing the god of my peers
disowning thier pleasures in you
blame the tv
but without
you wouldn't be half of yourself today

So fuck what you say
fuck your attitude
fuck your hate for individuality
fuck the brainwash you commit

So wheres your horse
wheres your smile
I solved your puzzle
What happened to the smile
Now I know
And I see your disdain will be your end of days

Changing Tides

Changing Tides

I see you there
on the horizon of my sunrise

Your brown eyes
take my mind from everything
From the thought
that I haven't seen you in days
But everything
feels like yesterday

I lift my gaze
to the grey clouds before me
Disbeleif as to
were this life leads me
My failure
to see what it is this experience leaves me

And all I feel
the shadows of your memories
cast them into the seas of my mind

All those feelings
of something new
Now returning
my saddened view of this life

Can you
part my seas of doubt
Make me
beleive in life again
I don't see
the future getting any brighter
A marvel
to behold in what lies inside

And I have fallen
to bloody knees
for you
Still keep getting
lost
Can teach me
how to swim?

Break

Break


You want me to break
Just so you can see the other side
Well it's not what you expected
It's raw and free
It's all inside of me

Push me harder
Watch me crumble
You can see
the price to pay
A risk to take
nothing left to gain
Blood, tears, and pain
Rinsed away
Cleased by time

Don't wake this up
Don't pry at the bleeding soul
Demons will devour you
A child screams in the night
Scared and alone
Into the darkness
You can't break me
Can't force me down
Hardened from all my pain
Never break down
Try as you may
Try as you might
Try to your death
I can go all night

So whats your just cause
For this interest
In everything I've lost
You want this so bad
Lets see you push me
Push me harder
Watch me crumble and fall
You can see
But there is a price to pay
A risk to take
And nothing to gain
Blood, tears, and pain
Rinsed away
Cleased by time


Pushed me harder
Watched me crumble and fall
You saw
The price I pay
To put a smile on my face
Every other fucking day
You Push me untill I break

Blind

Blind


So I dunno whats going on
What do I say now
How am I supposed to read this
What am I to make of your statements
You say you'll tell me tommorow,
but it's already worthless today

And I just wanna know,
what it is your thinking
wanna know just how you feel
but you won't let me inside
just push me away

Say I'll hear the words tommorow
But I'm dead today
Cuz all this emptiness inside
It never fades away
waiting for your words
waiting day by day
Finaly I just said enough
waited for your words long enough
And I have all but given up
Starting now to walk away

If you want me to stay right here
You need to tell me today
But if you don't then I just cant
I must be going on my way
and I stand here, one more night just for you
hoping to hear those words you'll say
But my patience will not last,
no not one more day....

Answer

Answer

Speaks of death again
why must this be the view of life
That nothing is left
and this is the only way out
How can you just let go
of something like that
What the fuck do I say to this

Was life just not enough
Why did you push yourse
Why do you feel this way
Can't you find another way
Where was your mind

How does life get that bad
I have been there before
seen the edge
crisp and sharp
Cried to myself
It took all I had
to keep this life

Life isn't just a game
You can't start over again
once it's done, it's done
and there is nothing left
No more life
Why do you feel
that this is your fucking answer

Just let it all go
tear in and stain our lives with this
the guilt of your actions
Becuase your afriad of your
Afraid to face your own problems

So break the skin, show us this
How you really feel
How fucking weak you are
How much you hate this life
How much we mean to you
Why do you feel this
Isn't this enough
So grow the fuck up
Learn to deal with life
This isn't an answer

So please
why is this
life so terrible
Why can't you listen
My words aren't empty
I know what it's like
to be on that edge and look over
Wonder what it would be like
What about those people who love you
How will they live on
So kill your thoughts of submission
Wake yourself up
Live for each day
don't let life break you
just get back up and go
Go on with your life
So this is your answer.....

Angel

Angel

In the shadows of my soul
I find my shelter
Hiding from my own self
But I'm not reaching out
Cuz I know you don't care
from the way you just walked away
As cold as the eyes of a blind child
searching for the will to live

Your uncaring
the way you just let go
shows me who you are
Lets me gain another vision
Shows me just where I stand
and I find I stand alone here
Without one to call my own
A solitary life trying to find an answer

My age the years do not bear
feels like I've been cold forever
Like I've never been a winner
lightning strikes a flame
but the rain comes too soon
the peak of a day is when apathy sets in
when I can forget how you gave up
on what you where given

So what I'm told
is that there is someone here for me
Someone to change the tides
shine a light for me
to finish the puzzle

I'm told of an angel
that I'll find her someday
She will come one day
when I don't even know it
But I question
why not today
Can she make me feel like a winner
on a rainy day
Can she know
how I feel
Can she make me feel
like a someone
Can she know
my past and still feel the same

I wish for her to be found
cuz one more day
Is another forever in my corner
another eternity alone
feeling like no one care's
Another day of life passing me by...